Day Nine?

Oh yes, Day 9 of 37. It went, never to be seen again. And I went to hear my sister and the Lindenwood Christian Church choir (one of the best in the city) sing Handel, always a favorite of mine. Then we had a lovely lunch with a friend and attended a play, Moonlight and Magnolias, a comedy. I fixed one of my favorite meals, from the old Weight Watchers Cookbook: Thai Marinated Steak (for my meat-eating brother-in-law), with a marinade made up of lime juice, cilantro, jalapeno, green onion, soy sauce and garlic--yum.



I did "not doing" in a lovely sanctuary surrounded by colorful stained glass and people who, like me, were there to find their own inner peace. It was Palm Sunday and the children's choir carried palm fronds and made me cry (as usual when I see children singing).

As I participated in the service I tried to focus on the Jesus I know, who is a different person than the one I knew as a child and as a young adult, a different one from the Jesus the minister talked about. I took the bread and wine that was offered, to be polite, but I didn't think of it as the body and blood. I thought of what Gandhi said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I also thought of what Eckhart says of Jesus: "Jesus on the cross said it all when He says, 'Forgive them for they know not what they do.' Which means they are unconscious. So when you realize that you naturally forgive." That is what I did yesterday morning, while music swelled and the prayers went up.

What I Saw When I Was Still

Today I sat on the deck again and surveyed my sister Marcia's backyard. When I had been there for about 15 minutes, a Bluejay flew down carrying something in his mouth, which he laid in the grass. Then he poked around a bit and I thought perhaps he had decided that the thing he had brought was not what he really wanted and he hoped to find something more appealing in our yard. He picked up a fallen leaf, put it down and gave it a tap. Next he picked up something else, which I took for the preferred thing he had been looking for, put that down, then picked up another fallen leaf, put that down and gave it a tap, tap. Then he flew away over the fence.

It was then that I realized that the Bluejay might have used the leaf to cover something, perhaps two things, so I got up to investigate. Sure enough, under one leaf I discovered a morsel of dry dog food, possibly taken from the dog next door. But even more interesting, under another leaf was a piece of wood about one inch long and one-quarter inch wide (probably a piece of mulch), and under that was another bit of kibble!

Well, of course, I ran to get the camera. See what happens when you stay still outside for a few minutes? It was so awesome! I felt like one of those people you see on National Geographic channel who discover that animals in the wild do things you never thought they would do! Wow!

If you are capable of living deeply one moment of your life, you can learn to live the same way all the other moments of your life. - Thich Nhat Hanh

This is my new mantra. Peace.

Day Three, Day Seven, Whatever

I don't know what number to assign to this day of the Do Nothing Challenge but it's not important. What I have learned is that taking the time to "become one with all that is" has helped me reconnect with the self that I was becoming before I found myself involved in a couple of situations that made that becoming more challenging. Those two situations are visiting an ex-lover and visiting my family.

Are there people in your life whom you have known so long, or so intimately, that they may have expectations about how you will behave based on past knowledge and experience? Does the "family dynamic" take over when you are together for holidays or other gatherings? I am the oldest of five children. Do you think my siblings see me in a particular way based on 50 years of experience, without regard for, or knowledge of, the work I have done to become the person I am today? It can be frustrating, but of course, it's not all their fault: I easily fall into those old patterns if I'm not constantly vigilant.

The same thing happened when I visited my friend Mary Helen in Houston a couple weeks ago. We dated for one year, around 1986-87. During the two weeks I spent at her house recently I felt the pull of our old relationship dynamic, which can be summed up as, "Just let me tell you how to run your life and we'll both be much happier." (Guess who had the control issues?)

So this challenge has come at an opportune time in my journey. I need a daily reminder that being Here and Now is the only place to be, and that the "I Am" that Eckhart talks about is not anyone's sister or mother or partner, but pure ego-less consciousness: One With All That Is. Peace.

Pretend You're a Dog

Okay, it's onward in the 37 Days Do Nothing Challenge and I'm finally off to a great start. Turns out I can't see the big magnolia from the sleeping side window of the motorhome, but the tree I can see is even better because it's a deciduous tree of some kind and it has that green on it. I had a grand time just looking at it, and watching the neighbor kiss her husband good-bye as he left in the car (so sweet), and enjoying the birds, and catching the fleeting shadow of a low-flying FedEx plane (imagining it was a chicken hawk and I was the chicken).

A couple of days ago I spent some quality Do Nothing time on the back deck with the dogs and cat. There is no better model for the Do Nothing life than a dog or cat. They don't hold a grudge because you stayed in the motorhome all day and didn't come in to play (poor Trixie cries and cries. Maybe I'll try bringing her out here), and they don't worry about whether or not you'll take them for a walk tomorrow. They live in the NOW, right where I want to be. Just another part of all that is.